It was not until it was getting dark that evening that Gregor awoke
from his deep and coma-like sleep. He would have woken soon
afterwards anyway even if he hadn't been disturbed, as he had had
enough sleep and felt fully rested. But he had the impression that
some hurried steps and the sound of the door leading into the front
room being carefully shut had woken him. The light from the
electric street lamps shone palely here and there onto the ceiling
and tops of the furniture, but down below, where Gregor was, it was
dark. He pushed himself over to the door, feeling his way clumsily
with his antennae - of which he was now beginning to learn the value
- in order to see what had been happening there. The whole of his
left side seemed like one, painfully stretched scar, and he limped
badly on his two rows of legs. One of the legs had been badly
injured in the events of that morning - it was nearly a miracle that
only one of them had been - and dragged along lifelessly.
It was only when he had reached the door that he realised what it
actually was that had drawn him over to it; it was the smell of
something to eat. By the door there was a dish filled with
sweetened milk with little pieces of white bread floating in it. He
was so pleased he almost laughed, as he was even hungrier than he
had been that morning, and immediately dipped his head into the
milk, nearly covering his eyes with it. But he soon drew his head
back again in disappointment; not only did the pain in his tender
left side make it difficult to eat the food - he was only able to
eat if his whole body worked together as a snuffling whole - but the
milk did not taste at all nice. Milk like this was normally his
favourite drink, and his sister had certainly left it there for him
because of that, but he turned, almost against his own will, away
from the dish and crawled back into the centre of the room.
Through the crack in the door, Gregor could see that the gas had
been lit in the living room. His father at this time would normally
be sat with his evening paper, reading it out in a loud voice to
Gregor's mother, and sometimes to his sister, but there was now not
a sound to be heard. Gregor's sister would often write and tell him
about this reading, but maybe his father had lost the habit in
recent times. It was so quiet all around too, even though there
must have been somebody in the flat. "What a quiet life it is the
family lead", said Gregor to himself, and, gazing into the darkness,
felt a great pride that he was able to provide a life like that in
such a nice home for his sister and parents. But what now, if all
this peace and wealth and comfort should come to a horrible and
frightening end? That was something that Gregor did not want to
think about too much, so he started to move about, crawling up and
down the room.
Once during that long evening, the door on one side of the room was
opened very slightly and hurriedly closed again; later on the door
on the other side did the same; it seemed that someone needed to
enter the room but thought better of it. Gregor went and waited
immediately by the door, resolved either to bring the timorous
visitor into the room in some way or at least to find out who it
was; but the door was opened no more that night and Gregor waited in
vain. The previous morning while the doors were locked everyone had
wanted to get in there to him, but now, now that he had opened up
one of the doors and the other had clearly been unlocked some time
during the day, no-one came, and the keys were in the other sides.
It was not until late at night that the gaslight in the living room
was put out, and now it was easy to see that his parents and sister had
stayed awake all that time, as they all could be distinctly heard as
they went away together on tip-toe. It was clear that no-one would
come into Gregor's room any more until morning; that gave him plenty
of time to think undisturbed about how he would have to re-arrange
his life. For some reason, the tall, empty room where he was forced
to remain made him feel uneasy as he lay there flat on the floor,
even though he had been living in it for five years. Hardly aware
of what he was doing other than a slight feeling of shame, he
hurried under the couch. It pressed down on his back a little, and
he was no longer able to lift his head, but he nonetheless felt
immediately at ease and his only regret was that his body was too
broad to get it all underneath.
He spent the whole night there. Some of the time he passed in a
light sleep, although he frequently woke from it in alarm because of
his hunger, and some of the time was spent in worries and vague
hopes which, however, always led to the same conclusion: for the
time being he must remain calm, he must show patience and the
greatest consideration so that his family could bear the
unpleasantness that he, in his present condition, was forced to
impose on them.
Gregor soon had the opportunity to test the strength of his
decisions, as early the next morning, almost before the night had
ended, his sister, nearly fully dressed, opened the door from the
front room and looked anxiously in. She did not see him straight
away, but when she did notice him under the couch - he had to be
somewhere, for God's sake, he couldn't have flown away - she was so
shocked that she lost control of herself and slammed the door shut
again from outside. But she seemed to regret her behaviour, as she
opened the door again straight away and came in on tip-toe as if
entering the room of someone seriously ill or even of a stranger.
Gregor had pushed his head forward, right to the edge of the couch,
and watched her. Would she notice that he had left the milk as it
was, realise that it was not from any lack of hunger and bring him
in some other food that was more suitable? If she didn't do it
herself he would rather go hungry than draw her attention to it,
although he did feel a terrible urge to rush forward from under the
couch, throw himself at his sister's feet and beg her for something
good to eat. However, his sister noticed the full dish immediately
and looked at it and the few drops of milk splashed around it with
some surprise. She immediately picked it up - using a rag,
not her bare hands - and carried it out. Gregor was extremely
curious as to what she would bring in its place, imagining the
wildest possibilities, but he never could have guessed what his
sister, in her goodness, actually did bring. In order to test his
taste, she brought him a whole selection of things, all spread out
on an old newspaper. There were old, half-rotten vegetables; bones
from the evening meal, covered in white sauce that had gone hard; a
few raisins and almonds; some cheese that Gregor had declared
inedible two days before; a dry roll and some bread spread with
butter and salt. As well as all that she had poured some water into
the dish, which had probably been permanently set aside for Gregor's
use, and placed it beside them. Then, out of consideration for
Gregor's feelings, as she knew that he would not eat in front of
her, she hurried out again and even turned the key in the lock so
that Gregor would know he could make things as comfortable for
himself as he liked. Gregor's little legs whirred, at last he could
eat. What's more, his injuries must already have completely healed
as he found no difficulty in moving. This amazed him, as more than
a month earlier he had cut his finger slightly with a knife, he
thought of how his finger had still hurt the day before yesterday.
"Am I less sensitive than I used to be, then?", he thought, and was
already sucking greedily at the cheese which had immediately, almost
compellingly, attracted him much more than the other foods on the
newspaper. Quickly one after another, his eyes watering with
pleasure, he consumed the cheese, the vegetables and the sauce; the
fresh foods, on the other hand, he didn't like at all, and even
dragged the things he did want to eat a little way away from them
because he couldn't stand the smell. Long after he had finished
eating and lay lethargic in the same place, his sister slowly turned
the key in the lock as a sign to him that he should withdraw. He
was immediately startled, although he had been half asleep, and he
hurried back under the couch. But he needed great self-control to
stay there even for the short time that his sister was in the room,
as eating so much food had rounded out his body a little and he
could hardly breathe in that narrow space. Half suffocating, he
watched with bulging eyes as his sister unselfconsciously took a
broom and swept up the left-overs, mixing them in with the food he
had not even touched at all as if it could not be used any more.
She quickly dropped it all into a bin, closed it with its wooden
lid, and carried everything out. She had hardly turned her back
before Gregor came out again from under the couch and stretched
himself.
This was how Gregor received his food each day now, once in the
morning while his parents and the maid were still asleep, and the
second time after everyone had eaten their meal at midday as his
parents would sleep for a little while then as well, and Gregor's
sister would send the maid away on some errand. Gregor's father and
mother certainly did not want him to starve either, but perhaps it
would have been more than they could stand to have any more
experience of his feeding than being told about it, and perhaps his
sister wanted to spare them what distress she could as they were
indeed suffering enough.
It was impossible for Gregor to find out what they had told the
doctor and the locksmith that first morning to get them out of the
flat. As nobody could understand him, nobody, not even his sister,
thought that he could understand them, so he had to be content to
hear his sister's sighs and appeals to the saints as she moved about
his room. It was only later, when she had become a little more used
to everything - there was, of course, no question of her ever
becoming fully used to the situation - that Gregor would sometimes
catch a friendly comment, or at least a comment that could be
construed as friendly. "He's enjoyed his dinner today", she might
say when he had diligently cleared away all the food left for him,
or if he left most of it, which slowly became more and more
frequent, she would often say, sadly, "now everything's just been
left there again".
Although Gregor wasn't able to hear any news directly he did listen
to much of what was said in the next rooms, and whenever he heard
anyone speaking he would scurry straight to the appropriate door and
press his whole body against it. There was seldom any conversation,
especially at first, that was not about him in some way, even if
only in secret. For two whole days, all the talk at every mealtime
was about what they should do now; but even between meals they spoke
about the same subject as there were always at least two members of
the family at home - nobody wanted to be at home by themselves and
it was out of the question to leave the flat entirely empty. And on
the very first day the maid had fallen to her knees and begged
Gregor's mother to let her go without delay. It was not very clear
how much she knew of what had happened but she left within a quarter
of an hour, tearfully thanking Gregor's mother for her dismissal as
if she had done her an enormous service. She even swore
emphatically not to tell anyone the slightest about what had
happened, even though no-one had asked that of her.
Now Gregor's sister also had to help his mother with the cooking;
although that was not so much bother as no-one ate very much.
Gregor often heard how one of them would unsuccessfully urge another
to eat, and receive no more answer than "no thanks, I've had enough"
or something similar. No-one drank very much either. His sister
would sometimes ask his father whether he would like a beer, hoping
for the chance to go and fetch it herself. When his father then
said nothing she would add, so that he would not feel selfish, that
she could send the housekeeper for it, but then his father would
close the matter with a big, loud "No", and no more would be said.
Even before the first day had come to an end, his father had
explained to Gregor's mother and sister what their finances and
prospects were. Now and then he stood up from the table and took
some receipt or document from the little cash box he had saved from
his business when it had collapsed five years earlier. Gregor heard
how he opened the complicated lock and then closed it again after he
had taken the item he wanted. What he heard his father say was some
of the first good news that Gregor heard since he had first been
incarcerated in his room. He had thought that nothing at all
remained from his father's business, at least he had never told him
anything different, and Gregor had never asked him about it anyway.
Their business misfortune had reduced the family to a state of total
despair, and Gregor's only concern at that time had been to arrange
things so that they could all forget about it as quickly as
possible. So then he started working especially hard, with a fiery
vigour that raised him from a junior salesman to a travelling
representative almost overnight, bringing with it the chance to earn
money in quite different ways. Gregor converted his success at work
straight into cash that he could lay on the table at home for the
benefit of his astonished and delighted family. They had been good
times and they had never come again, at least not with the same
splendour, even though Gregor had later earned so much that he was
in a position to bear the costs of the whole family, and did bear
them. They had even got used to it, both Gregor and the family,
they took the money with gratitude and he was glad to provide it,
although there was no longer much warm affection given in return.
Gregor only remained close to his sister now. Unlike him, she was
very fond of music and a gifted and expressive violinist, it was his
secret plan to send her to the conservatory next year even though it
would cause great expense that would have to be made up for in some
other way. During Gregor's short periods in town, conversation with
his sister would often turn to the conservatory but it was only ever
mentioned as a lovely dream that could never be realised. Their
parents did not like to hear this innocent talk, but Gregor thought
about it quite hard and decided he would let them know what he
planned with a grand announcement of it on Christmas day.
That was the sort of totally pointless thing that went through his
mind in his present state, pressed upright against the door and
listening. There were times when he simply became too tired to
continue listening, when his head would fall wearily against the
door and he would pull it up again with a start, as even the
slightest noise he caused would be heard next door and they would
all go silent. "What's that he's doing now", his father would say
after a while, clearly having gone over to the door, and only then
would the interrupted conversation slowly be taken up again.
When explaining things, his father repeated himself several times,
partly because it was a long time since he had been occupied with
these matters himself and partly because Gregor's mother did not
understand everything the first time. From these repeated explanations
Gregor learned, to his pleasure, that despite all their misfortunes
there was still some money available from the old days. It was not
a lot, but it had not been touched in the meantime and some interest
had accumulated. Besides that, they had not been using up all the
money that Gregor had been bringing home every month, keeping only a
little for himself, so that that, too, had been accumulating.
Behind the door, Gregor nodded with enthusiasm in his pleasure at
this unexpected thrift and caution. He could actually have used
this surplus money to reduce his father's debt to his boss, and the
day when he could have freed himself from that job would have come
much closer, but now it was certainly better the way his father had
done things.
This money, however, was certainly not enough to enable the family
to live off the interest; it was enough to maintain them for,
perhaps, one or two years, no more. That's to say, it was money
that should not really be touched but set aside for emergencies;
money to live on had to be earned. His father was healthy but old,
and lacking in self confidence. During the five years that he had
not been working - the first holiday in a life that had been full of
strain and no success - he had put on a lot of weight and become
very slow and clumsy. Would Gregor's elderly mother now have to go
and earn money? She suffered from asthma and it was a strain for her
just to move about the home, every other day would be spent
struggling for breath on the sofa by the open window. Would his
sister have to go and earn money? She was still a child of
seventeen, her life up till then had been very enviable, consisting
of wearing nice clothes, sleeping late, helping out in the business,
joining in with a few modest pleasures and most of all playing the
violin. Whenever they began to talk of the need to earn money,
Gregor would always first let go of the door and then throw himself
onto the cool, leather sofa next to it, as he became quite hot with
shame and regret.
He would often lie there the whole night through, not sleeping a
wink but scratching at the leather for hours on end. Or he might go
to all the effort of pushing a chair to the window, climbing up onto
the sill and, propped up in the chair, leaning on the window to
stare out of it. He had used to feel a great sense of freedom from
doing this, but doing it now was obviously something more remembered
than experienced, as what he actually saw in this way was becoming
less distinct every day, even things that were quite near; he had
used to curse the ever-present view of the hospital across the
street, but now he could not see it at all, and if he had not known
that he lived in Charlottenstrasse, which was a quiet street despite
being in the middle of the city, he could have thought that he was
looking out the window at a barren waste where the grey sky and the
grey earth mingled inseparably. His observant sister only needed to
notice the chair twice before she would always push it back to its
exact position by the window after she had tidied up the room, and
even left the inner pane of the window open from then on.
If Gregor had only been able to speak to his sister and thank her
for all that she had to do for him it would have been easier for him
to bear it; but as it was it caused him pain. His sister,
naturally, tried as far as possible to pretend there was nothing
burdensome about it, and the longer it went on, of course, the
better she was able to do so, but as time went by Gregor was also
able to see through it all so much better. It had even become very
unpleasant for him, now, whenever she entered the room. No sooner
had she come in than she would quickly close the door as a
precaution so that no-one would have to suffer the view into
Gregor's room, then she would go straight to the window and pull it
hurriedly open almost as if she were suffocating. Even if it was
cold, she would stay at the window breathing deeply for a little
while. She would alarm Gregor twice a day with this running about
and noise making; he would stay under the couch shivering the whole
while, knowing full well that she would certainly have liked to
spare him this ordeal, but it was impossible for her to be in the
same room with him with the windows closed.
One day, about a month after Gregor's transformation when his sister
no longer had any particular reason to be shocked at his appearance,
she came into the room a little earlier than usual and found him
still staring out the window, motionless, and just where he would be
most horrible. In itself, his sister's not coming into the room
would have been no surprise for Gregor as it would have been
difficult for her to immediately open the window while he was still
there, but not only did she not come in, she went straight back and
closed the door behind her, a stranger would have thought he had
threatened her and tried to bite her. Gregor went straight to hide
himself under the couch, of course, but he had to wait until midday
before his sister came back and she seemed much more uneasy than
usual. It made him realise that she still found his appearance
unbearable and would continue to do so, she probably even had to
overcome the urge to flee when she saw the little bit of him that
protruded from under the couch. One day, in order to spare her even
this sight, he spent four hours carrying the bedsheet over to the
couch on his back and arranged it so that he was completely covered
and his sister would not be able to see him even if she bent down.
If she did not think this sheet was necessary then all she had to do
was take it off again, as it was clear enough that it was no
pleasure for Gregor to cut himself off so completely. She left the
sheet where it was. Gregor even thought he glimpsed a look of
gratitude one time when he carefully looked out from under the sheet
to see how his sister liked the new arrangement.
For the first fourteen days, Gregor's parents could not bring
themselves to come into the room to see him. He would often hear
them say how they appreciated all the new work his sister was doing
even though, before, they had seen her as a girl who was somewhat
useless and frequently been annoyed with her. But now the two of
them, father and mother, would often both wait outside the door of
Gregor's room while his sister tidied up in there, and as soon as
she went out again she would have to tell them exactly how
everything looked, what Gregor had eaten, how he had behaved this
time and whether, perhaps, any slight improvement could be seen.
His mother also wanted to go in and visit Gregor relatively soon but
his father and sister at first persuaded her against it. Gregor
listened very closely to all this, and approved fully. Later,
though, she had to be held back by force, which made her call out:
"Let me go and see Gregor, he is my unfortunate son! Can't you
understand I have to see him?", and Gregor would think to himself
that maybe it would be better if his mother came in, not every day
of course, but one day a week, perhaps; she could understand
everything much better than his sister who, for all her courage, was
still just a child after all, and really might not have had an
adult's appreciation of the burdensome job she had taken on.
Gregor's wish to see his mother was soon realised. Out of
consideration for his parents, Gregor wanted to avoid being seen at
the window during the day, the few square meters of the floor did
not give him much room to crawl about, it was hard to just lie
quietly through the night, his food soon stopped giving him any
pleasure at all, and so, to entertain himself, he got into the habit
of crawling up and down the walls and ceiling. He was especially
fond of hanging from the ceiling; it was quite different from lying
on the floor; he could breathe more freely; his body had a light
swing to it; and up there, relaxed and almost happy, it might happen
that he would surprise even himself by letting go of the ceiling and
landing on the floor with a crash. But now, of course, he had far
better control of his body than before and, even with a fall as
great as that, caused himself no damage. Very soon his sister
noticed Gregor's new way of entertaining himself - he had, after
all, left traces of the adhesive from his feet as he crawled about -
and got it into her head to make it as easy as possible for him by
removing the furniture that got in his way, especially the chest of
drawers and the desk. Now, this was not something that she would be
able to do by herself; she did not dare to ask for help from her
father; the sixteen year old maid had carried on bravely since the
cook had left but she certainly would not have helped in this, she
had even asked to be allowed to keep the kitchen locked at all times
and never to have to open the door unless it was especially
important; so his sister had no choice but to choose some time when
Gregor's father was not there and fetch his mother to help her. As
she approached the room, Gregor could hear his mother express her
joy, but once at the door she went silent. First, of course, his
sister came in and looked round to see that everything in the room
was alright; and only then did she let her mother enter. Gregor had
hurriedly pulled the sheet down lower over the couch and put more
folds into it so that everything really looked as if it had just
been thrown down by chance. Gregor also refrained, this time, from
spying out from under the sheet; he gave up the chance to see his
mother until later and was simply glad that she had come. "You can
come in, he can't be seen", said his sister, obviously leading her
in by the hand. The old chest of drawers was too heavy for a pair
of feeble women to be heaving about, but Gregor listened as they
pushed it from its place, his sister always taking on the heaviest
part of the work for herself and ignoring her mother's warnings that
she would strain herself. This lasted a very long time. After
labouring at it for fifteen minutes or more his mother said it would
be better to leave the chest where it was, for one thing it was too
heavy for them to get the job finished before Gregor's father got
home and leaving it in the middle of the room it would be in his way
even more, and for another thing it wasn't even sure that taking the
furniture away would really be any help to him. She thought just
the opposite; the sight of the bare walls saddened her right to her
heart; and why wouldn't Gregor feel the same way about it, he'd been
used to this furniture in his room for a long time and it would make
him feel abandoned to be in an empty room like that. Then, quietly,
almost whispering as if wanting Gregor (whose whereabouts she did
not know) to hear not even the tone of her voice, as she was
convinced that he did not understand her words, she added "and by
taking the furniture away, won't it seem like we're showing that
we've given up all hope of improvement and we're abandoning him to
cope for himself? I think it'd be best to leave the room exactly the
way it was before so that when Gregor comes back to us again he'll
find everything unchanged and he'll be able to forget the time in
between all the easier".
Hearing these words from his mother made Gregor realise that the
lack of any direct human communication, along with the monotonous
life led by the family during these two months, must have made him
confused - he could think of no other way of explaining to himself
why he had seriously wanted his room emptied out. Had he really
wanted to transform his room into a cave, a warm room fitted out
with the nice furniture he had inherited? That would have let him
crawl around unimpeded in any direction, but it would also have let
him quickly forget his past when he had still been human. He had
come very close to forgetting, and it had only been the voice of his
mother, unheard for so long, that had shaken him out of it. Nothing
should be removed; everything had to stay; he could not do without
the good influence the furniture had on his condition; and if the
furniture made it difficult for him to crawl about mindlessly that
was not a loss but a great advantage.
His sister, unfortunately, did not agree; she had become used to the
idea, not without reason, that she was Gregor's spokesman to his
parents about the things that concerned him. This meant that his
mother's advice now was sufficient reason for her to insist on
removing not only the chest of drawers and the desk, as she had
thought at first, but all the furniture apart from the all-important
couch. It was more than childish perversity, of course, or the
unexpected confidence she had recently acquired, that made her
insist; she had indeed noticed that Gregor needed a lot of room to
crawl about in, whereas the furniture, as far as anyone could see,
was of no use to him at all. Girls of that age, though, do become
enthusiastic about things and feel they must get their way whenever
they can. Perhaps this was what tempted Grete to make Gregor's
situation seem even more shocking than it was so that she could do
even more for him. Grete would probably be the only one who would
dare enter a room dominated by Gregor crawling about the bare walls
by himself.
So she refused to let her mother dissuade her. Gregor's mother
already looked uneasy in his room, she soon stopped speaking and
helped Gregor's sister to get the chest of drawers out with what
strength she had. The chest of drawers was something that Gregor
could do without if he had to, but the writing desk had to stay.
Hardly had the two women pushed the chest of drawers, groaning, out
of the room than Gregor poked his head out from under the couch to
see what he could do about it. He meant to be as careful and
considerate as he could, but, unfortunately, it was his mother who
came back first while Grete in the next room had her arms round the
chest, pushing and pulling at it from side to side by herself
without, of course, moving it an inch. His mother was not used to
the sight of Gregor, he might have made her ill, so Gregor hurried
backwards to the far end of the couch. In his startlement, though,
he was not able to prevent the sheet at its front from moving a
little. It was enough to attract his mother's attention. She stood
very still, remained there a moment, and then went back out to
Grete.
Gregor kept trying to assure himself that nothing unusual was
happening, it was just a few pieces of furniture being moved after
all, but he soon had to admit that the women going to and fro, their
little calls to each other, the scraping of the furniture on the
floor, all these things made him feel as if he were being assailed
from all sides. With his head and legs pulled in against him and
his body pressed to the floor, he was forced to admit to himself
that he could not stand all of this much longer. They were emptying
his room out; taking away everything that was dear to him; they had
already taken out the chest containing his fretsaw and other tools;
now they threatened to remove the writing desk with its place
clearly worn into the floor, the desk where he had done his homework
as a business trainee, at high school, even while he had been at
infant school - he really could not wait any longer to see whether
the two women's intentions were good. He had nearly forgotten they
were there anyway, as they were now too tired to say anything while
they worked and he could only hear their feet as they stepped
heavily on the floor.
So, while the women were leant against the desk in the other room
catching their breath, he sallied out, changed direction four times
not knowing what he should save first before his attention was
suddenly caught by the picture on the wall - which was already
denuded of everything else that had been on it - of the lady dressed
in copious fur. He hurried up onto the picture and pressed himself
against its glass, it held him firmly and felt good on his hot
belly. This picture at least, now totally covered by Gregor, would
certainly be taken away by no-one. He turned his head to face the
door into the living room so that he could watch the women when they
came back.
They had not allowed themselves a long rest and came back quite
soon; Grete had put her arm around her mother and was nearly
carrying her. "What shall we take now, then?", said Grete and
looked around. Her eyes met those of Gregor on the wall. Perhaps
only because her mother was there, she remained calm, bent her face
to her so that she would not look round and said, albeit hurriedly
and with a tremor in her voice: "Come on, let's go back in the
living room for a while?" Gregor could see what Grete had in mind,
she wanted to take her mother somewhere safe and then chase him down
from the wall. Well, she could certainly try it! He sat unyielding
on his picture. He would rather jump at Grete's face.
But Grete's words had made her mother quite worried, she stepped to
one side, saw the enormous brown patch against the flowers of the
wallpaper, and before she even realised it was Gregor that she saw
screamed: "Oh God, oh God!" Arms outstretched, she fell onto the
couch as if she had given up everything and stayed there immobile.
"Gregor!" shouted his sister, glowering at him and shaking her fist.
That was the first word she had spoken to him directly since his
transformation. She ran into the other room to fetch some kind of
smelling salts to bring her mother out of her faint; Gregor wanted
to help too - he could save his picture later, although he stuck
fast to the glass and had to pull himself off by force; then he,
too, ran into the next room as if he could advise his sister like in
the old days; but he had to just stand behind her doing nothing; she
was looking into various bottles, he startled her when she turned
round; a bottle fell to the ground and broke; a splinter cut
Gregor's face, some kind of caustic medicine splashed all over him;
now, without delaying any longer, Grete took hold of all the bottles
she could and ran with them in to her mother; she slammed the door
shut with her foot. So now Gregor was shut out from his mother,
who, because of him, might be near to death; he could not open the
door if he did not want to chase his sister away, and she had to
stay with his mother; there was nothing for him to do but wait; and,
oppressed with anxiety and self-reproach, he began to crawl about,
he crawled over everything, walls, furniture, ceiling, and finally
in his confusion as the whole room began to spin around him he fell
down into the middle of the dinner table.
He lay there for a while, numb and immobile, all around him it was
quiet, maybe that was a good sign. Then there was someone at the
door. The maid, of course, had locked herself in her kitchen so
that Grete would have to go and answer it. His father had arrived
home. "What's happened?" were his first words; Grete's appearance
must have made everything clear to him. She answered him with
subdued voice, and openly pressed her face into his chest: "Mother's
fainted, but she's better now. Gregor got out." "Just as I
expected", said his father, "just as I always said, but you women
wouldn't listen, would you." It was clear to Gregor that Grete had
not said enough and that his father took it to mean that something
bad had happened, that he was responsible for some act of violence.
That meant Gregor would now have to try to calm his father, as he
did not have the time to explain things to him even if that had been
possible. So he fled to the door of his room and pressed himself
against it so that his father, when he came in from the hall, could
see straight away that Gregor had the best intentions and would go
back into his room without delay, that it would not be necessary to
drive him back but that they had only to open the door and he would
disappear.
His father, though, was not in the mood to notice subtleties like
that; "Ah!", he shouted as he came in, sounding as if he were both
angry and glad at the same time. Gregor drew his head back from the
door and lifted it towards his father. He really had not imagined
his father the way he stood there now; of late, with his new habit
of crawling about, he had neglected to pay attention to what was
going on the rest of the flat the way he had done before. He really
ought to have expected things to have changed, but still, still, was
that really his father? The same tired man as used to be laying
there entombed in his bed when Gregor came back from his business
trips, who would receive him sitting in the armchair in his
nightgown when he came back in the evenings; who was hardly even
able to stand up but, as a sign of his pleasure, would just raise
his arms and who, on the couple of times a year when they went for a
walk together on a Sunday or public holiday wrapped up tightly in
his overcoat between Gregor and his mother, would always labour his
way forward a little more slowly than them, who were already walking
slowly for his sake; who would place his stick down carefully and,
if he wanted to say something would invariably stop and gather his
companions around him. He was standing up straight enough now;
dressed in a smart blue uniform with gold buttons, the sort worn by
the employees at the banking institute; above the high, stiff collar
of the coat his strong double-chin emerged; under the bushy
eyebrows, his piercing, dark eyes looked out fresh and alert; his
normally unkempt white hair was combed down painfully close to his
scalp. He took his cap, with its gold monogram from, probably, some
bank, and threw it in an arc right across the room onto the sofa,
put his hands in his trouser pockets, pushing back the bottom of his
long uniform coat, and, with look of determination, walked towards
Gregor. He probably did not even know himself what he had in mind,
but nonetheless lifted his feet unusually high. Gregor was amazed
at the enormous size of the soles of his boots, but wasted no time
with that - he knew full well, right from the first day of his new
life, that his father thought it necessary to always be extremely
strict with him. And so he ran up to his father, stopped when his
father stopped, scurried forwards again when he moved, even
slightly. In this way they went round the room several times
without anything decisive happening, without even giving the
impression of a chase as everything went so slowly. Gregor remained
all this time on the floor, largely because he feared his father
might see it as especially provoking if he fled onto the wall or
ceiling. Whatever he did, Gregor had to admit that he certainly
would not be able to keep up this running about for long, as for
each step his father took he had to carry out countless movements.
He became noticeably short of breath, even in his earlier life his
lungs had not been very reliable. Now, as he lurched about in his
efforts to muster all the strength he could for running he could
hardly keep his eyes open; his thoughts became too slow for him to
think of any other way of saving himself than running; he almost
forgot that the walls were there for him to use although, here, they
were concealed behind carefully carved furniture full of notches and
protrusions - then, right beside him, lightly tossed, something flew
down and rolled in front of him. It was an apple; then another one
immediately flew at him; Gregor froze in shock; there was no longer
any point in running as his father had decided to bombard him. He
had filled his pockets with fruit from the bowl on the sideboard and
now, without even taking the time for careful aim, threw one apple
after another. These little, red apples rolled about on the floor,
knocking into each other as if they had electric motors. An apple
thrown without much force glanced against Gregor's back and slid off
without doing any harm. Another one however, immediately following
it, hit squarely and lodged in his back; Gregor wanted to drag
himself away, as if he could remove the surprising, the incredible
pain by changing his position; but he felt as if nailed to the spot
and spread himself out, all his senses in confusion. The last thing
he saw was the door of his room being pulled open, his sister was
screaming, his mother ran out in front of her in her blouse (as his
sister had taken off some of her clothes after she had fainted to
make it easier for her to breathe), she ran to his father, her
skirts unfastened and sliding one after another to the ground,
stumbling over the skirts she pushed herself to his father, her arms
around him, uniting herself with him totally - now Gregor lost his
ability to see anything - her hands behind his father's head begging
him to spare Gregor's life.